May 2013
Alistair, Prince Extraordinaire!:... →
ambassador-of-anguish:
shouldertappingghosts:
If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story…
yourbones:
somegirlnamedkaitlyn:
My dog understands the word “No,” so how are you going to tell me teenage boys don’t know the difference between rape and consent?
Nailed it.
1 tag
py-bun:
py-bun:
en0ch:
off au where dedan and enoch run amys baking company
THIS IS THE BEST AU
BATTER IS CHEF RAMSAY
wait there’s more
e-slut:
things! not! to! say! to! asexuals!:
‘aren’t you just asexual becuase no one likes you?’
‘asexuality isn’t even real’
‘you’ll grow out of it’
‘well do you masturbate?’
anything of or pertaining to amoebas
‘so does that mean you’re gonna die alone then?’
‘you don’t dress like an asexual’
iswearimnotadumbblonde:
chinkerbelle:
Reasons I grab my boobs
running upstairs
running downstairs
running
stoked on life
scared
walking through my house in the dark
bored
boobs
is it bad that this made me grab my boobs
dylinquent:
chinchie:
have u ever thought about someone and gotten all flustered and happy
the pizza delivery man
1 tag
List of Harry Potter Spells
Accio: Brings an object to you
Aguament: i Creates a gush of water from the tip of the spell caster’s wand
Alohomora: Opens locks
Aparecium: Makes invisible ink become visible
Avada Kedavra: The Unforgivable Curse; Kills your opponent; taken from “Abra Cadabra”
Avifors: Turns things into birds
Avis: Makes birds fly out of the end of your wand
Bombarda: Causes a small, locally contained explosion. To make a bigger explosion, one could use “bombarda maxima”
Colloportus: Closes a door and binds it so that it can’t be opened.
Confringo: AKA the Blasting Curse; Causes the item targeted to explode
Confundus: Confounds your target, or makes them temporarily confused
Conjunctivitis: Damages the eyesight of your opponent, making them seem to have pink eye
Crucio: The Second Unforgivable Curse, the Cruciatus Curse; Tortures your opponent mercilessly
Deletrius: Erases the last spell cast by a wand so that it can’t be discovered
Densaugeo: Makes teeth grow out of control
Diffindo: Makes seams split open, severs an object into two pieces
Dissendium: Opens a specific passageway into a cellar, may be useful in other instances; may be only a password
Duro: Turns an item to stone.
Enervate: Mistaken spell. Changed to Rennervate. Used to wake up a stunned person
Engorgio: Makes an item larger, as in swollen
Episkey: Heals relatively minor wounds.
Evanesco: Causes an item to immediately dissolve away, as if it had never existed
Expecto Patronum: Creates Patronus
Expelliarmus: Disarms the target of the spell, such as knocking their wand out of their hand
Fera Verto: Transforms animals into water goblets!
Ferula: Binds a broken limb with a splint and bandages, tightly wrapped
Fidelius: Allows a secret to be hidden within the secret keeper’s soul; very powerful spell
Finite Incantatem: Stops any spell
Flagrate: Allows the user to write or draw in the air with fire
Flipendo: Also knows as the Knockback Jinx, pushes or flips something backwards
Furnunculus: Causes a person to break out in boils
Geminio: Creates a duplicate of an item (a twin, as in the zodiacal sign Gemini).
Homorphus: Man-Shape; makes a werewolf or person disguised as an animal resume their human shape
Immobulus: Immobilizes the target
Impedimenta: Puts up an impediment that slows down something or someone that is coming toward you
Imperio: The third unforgivable curse. Allows the user to assume complete control of another person
Impervius: Repels water from a surface
Incarcerous: Conjures up ropes, which then bind an opponent
Incendio: Lights a fire
Legilimens: Allows the user to gain access to another’s mind and memories
Levicorpus: Turns your opponent upside down and dangles them in thin air
Liberacorpus: “Liberates”, or frees a body that has been caught up by the levicorpus spell
Locomotor Mortis: The Leg-Locker Curse; locks an opponent’s legs together
Lumos: Creates light, usually by making the tip of the wand glow. More light can be created using “lumos maxima”
Mobiliarbus: Used to move a tree from one place to another
Mobilicorpus: Used to move a body from one place to another
Morsmordre: or Morsmorde Used to summon the Dark Mark
Muffliato: Causes a buzzing noise to surround a limited area so that those in the area can carry on a private conversation
Nox: Extinguishes light, used to douse the light created by “Lumos”
Obliviate: Makes a person “oblivious”, erasing their memories of an event
Orchideous: Conjures a bunch of flowers from the user’s wand
Petrificus Totalus: Total petrification; petrifies an opponent totally
Point Me: The Four Point Spell; makes the user’s wand act like a compass
Portus: Turns any item into a Portkey, which can then be used to transport a person or persons to another location.
Prior Incantato: Reveals to you the last spell that a wand was used to cast
Protego: Protects the user, and sends a spell back on an opponent
Quietus: Makes things quiet, used to muffle “Sonorus”
Reducio: Shrinks an item
Reducto: Blasts solid objects into pieces
Relashio: Releases something from being constrained or held
Rennervate: Was originally “ennervate”, but corrected by author; means to energize or wake up
Reparo: Repairs broken items
Repello: Repels something
Repello Muggletum: Makes an area invisible to Muggles
Revelio: Causes something that is hidden to be revealed
Rictusempra: Causes a person to curl up in laughter, as if being tickled
Riddikulus: Makes a boggart assume a “ridiculous” form, thereby making it funny instead of terrifying
Salvio Hexia: Unclear; seems to strengthen other protective spells, or to deflect any hexes cast toward a specific location
Scourgify: Used to clean dirt or other material off of a surface
Sectumsempra: Causes lacerations to appear all over an opponent’s body, as if they had been cut by an invisible sword
Serpensortia: Conjures a snake
Silencio: Makes the target of the spell unable to make any sound.
Sonorus: Amplifies the user’s voice
Stupefy Stupefies an opponent, or knocks them insensible temporarily
Tarantallegra: Forces an opponent’s legs to dance uncontrollably
Tergeo: Scours something clean
Waddiwasi: Removes a stuck object, as in a wad of gum that is stuck in a keyhole
Wingardium Leviosa: Allows the user to make an object levitate
doomslock:
“you are what you eat” a recipe book by hannibal lecter
turnc0at:
turnc0at:
turnc0at:
turnc0at:
GUESS WHO GOT SOME APPLE FLAVOURED SHAMPOO
WAIT NO I MEANT SCENTED
DON’T WORRY IT TASTES LIKE APPLES TOO
i just threw up
shedisenchants:
shedisenchants:
so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
samwinchesters-killerpenis:
lordwhat:
I have seen no one make this joke yet so I call dibs.
YOU ODN’T UNDERSTAND I AM DAMN WELL PISSIN MYSELF HOLY FUCK I LOVE YOU WHOEVER MADE THIS IVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 78 YEARS
meladoodle:
meladoodle:
when boys smile, i die
oh…
ham-and-pineapple:
pizza:
mozzarella-cheese:
Fun fact:
Me and the Tumblr user Pizza used to date. We were always together and such. I hate to say it now but I was always on top.
Oh hey babe! Haven’t talked to you in ages xx
ahh shit well this is awkward
meladoodle:
canadianmountiejesus:
meladoodle:
when boys smile, i die
am i a murderer now?
YES WTF THAT’S MESSED UP
dungeonsanddamsels:
this week on “gay porn videos have the weirdest titles”
1 tag
gentlemanbones:
zeldasboyfriend:
me flirting
You can’t just whip out your cock at somebody man
alphastridercest:
bambiisqueen:
alphastridercest:
queer noises
[ religious mob noises in the distance ]
panicked queer noises
1 tag
fighting-morgana-with-souflles:
daughterofgallifrey:
catswithbenefits:
if no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be
Maybe you accidentally wiped out the human race so there is nobody to stop you in the future
WELL AREN’T YOU JUST A RAY OF FUCKING SUNSHINE
1 tag
jpierrepontcriss:
my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
benedictcumberpantysnatcher:
stitchnik:
...
the-barricade-girl:
oh sweet jesus
oh sour jesus
oh BBQ jesus
oh cool ranch jesus
oh doritos locos tacos jesus
borealisbon:
Adding ‘men in tailored suits beating the shit out of each other’ to my list of fetishes.
Watchlesincompetent:
I’m gonna reblog this until everyone in existence knows about this